04.30.11
Posted in Politics at 6:05 PM by Ann Hornbeck
I did my first 10k this morning! It was really, really hard but I finished and took 2nd place in my age group. In early April, I ran the 5k at another race and received 2nd place too! I am proud of myself! Now, I must admit that the older you get, the less people you have to compete with in your age group, but I am grateful for being able to do what I have been doing – running! Once again, I awakened in the middle of the night, this time due to the roar of the wind outside my window, but then, of course, I started tossing and turning and could not get back to sleep for at least two hours. It was about 55 degrees when I arrived at the event – in running shorts – with a wind chill factor of probably 45 and it didn’t stop howling throughout the entire race. It definitely took some seconds/minutes off of everyone’s time, but it also provided air conditioning as the sun blazed high in the sky. It truly was a perfect day. Next up, the Trail Run Series beginning in July. Tomorrow, I am doing a big hike so another early-to-rise, but I am definitely looking forward to it! I made it through my mom’s birthday this week without crying. Well, that’s not exactly true as it found its way into my soul yesterday, the tears streaming down my face for a little while in the evening. I will always miss her, but how blessed are we to carry her around with us! My mom reached out to me so much, and, even as I continued to be narcissistic, a pain-in-the-butt, wanting and stubborn, she still reached out. It wasn’t until I was in my late 40′s that she started introducing me to her Florida crowd as her “Flower Child.” It opened doors for both of us to recreate ourselves with one another. I have saved every letter she ever wrote me – from my college years, my Cape Cod years, and my San Francisco Bay Area years. She never missed a beat when it came to anyone’s birthday, wedding anniversary, first home, second home, first steps, first tooth, and everything in between. Her letters would always have something inside – a story torn out of the local newspaper, a joke that she assured was written down at one of her million-gazillion cocktail parties so her friends and family could have a big laugh, a picture of her and John in their Halloween costumes, or a copy of her diary capturing yet another visit to a foreign country. When Sunday came around, I could always count on Grandma Betty telephoning. “Did you watch the West Virginia game last night!?!” “My, what a great shot that Tiger Woods made today! You know he lives on Hutchison Island?” After her husband died, she began keeping diaries. I am guessing it all began as a way to heal as John’s ill health worsened and she became the sole caretaker, carting a wheel chair to the bottom floor, moving it in and out of the car as she drove him everywhere, and at the end, did what any loved one would do to comfort their partner at the end of life. Her diaries have now joined the rest of her memoirs except for the one she gave me – her diary from her teenage years, the depression and World War II. So, the answer is no. I have no regrets. Our relationship was exactly how it was supposed to be – perfect together when the time was right, and now for all eternity. Run, Ann, run!
Peace out!
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04.25.11
Posted in Politics at 7:16 PM by Ann Hornbeck
I guess it is time to admit that I have OCD on some level. No, I don’t have to put my left foot on every other tile in the exact place as the one before as I make my way from the front door to the kitchen. Nor do I count the strokes that my brush creates across my hair after a shower, even though my hair tends to know where to go without any help from me or the anti-frizz product that I put in my hair. And, although I am orderly, I do not worry about the dust balls that form behind my night table, or the layer of dust on my windowsill. I fully understand that at 58, I have changed. The pillows must be fluffed and in the correct position, left to right, upon my bed that was made earlier according to plan. The cat’s litter box is cleaned each morning and again at night, without missing a single kernel of cat litter lying on the floor. My spring and summer shoes are placed in the basket next to my computer table so at any moment, I can choose what style I want to place upon my foot, again, in an orderly fashion – right foot first, left foot second. But, if it is a sneaker, I must first tie my right shoelaces prior to putting on the left sneaker. In the mornings, I follow the same routine – floss first, then brush, apply cleanser to my face, put “product” in those areas where it was yesterday, (I hope!), then complete the eye make up, etc., etc., but always in the same order. What I eat for breakfast, but not before my coffee! My route to work, more of the same! At lunch – if it’s Japanese, then it’s rice and vegetables. The deli, a vegetarian sandwich with greens and tomatoes and cream cheese. Saturday’s, Wednesdays and Thursdays – run! Reading in bed – an absolute! On and on it goes. I know I’m not alone. But then, there is the walk into the kitchen to get…what was it? A big glass of water, perhaps; no it’s on your nightstand. A small piece of dark chocolate; no, you’ve already had two! Back to the bedroom….oh, of course, your vitamin! We age, we forget, we remember, and then we forget what we just remembered, but still find ourselves telling the stories that were told to us, as the grandchildren listening with respect even though they don’t yet understand why. We laugh, we talk to ourselves, we shake our heads wondering into what shadow did time disappear? At 58, I can run a 10k, swim a mile, hike big mountains, traverse streams, and I can even remember my name! But, lurking in the shadows is a picture of my grandmother, my uncle, my sister-in-law’s mother, parents of friends. I realize that I have no control over what my mind decides to do with itself, so why not just let it go. Prepare, just in case, but enjoy every minute. Or, as Warren Zevon said, “Enjoy every sandwich.” The stories will be told, and I’ll be there listening, not understanding, but somewhere a flame will flicker, if but for a moment, and I will shine. Alive. Living. Being. Now, ain’t that something!
Peace out!
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04.20.11
Posted in Just Me at 8:29 PM by Ann Hornbeck
For the past two days I have been pounding the pavement with another employee, actually, my daughter Jessica, begging for donations for our upcoming Solano Karaoke Idol event. I know it sounds strange! We have targeted spas, grocery stores, mom and pop stores, and businesses galore, hoping to gather as many raffle and auction prizes as possible for our upcoming event. Most Development Coordinators would have targeted their potential corporate donors early in the year so their agency would never have to worry about raising funds, but instead, are blessed with unrestricted funds that can support whatever event or crisis that comes their way. Well, that’s exactly what the plan is… NOW! Having started in this position in January, and with the 1000 things that everyone needs to complete in the present while focusing on the future, I have a lot of catching up! My mom was the advertising person for a newspaper in my hometown. She also did much more than that, but I remember her laughing and calling herself a “street walker.” I think I understood the joke but somehow, I truly witnessed what I also understood – that she was a single woman doing what she had to do to feed her family. She also had her own newspaper column that was quite popular with the local folk, and especially by her family. And, she was a feature writer, which opened up another opportunity for her to publish a book on the battles fought in our county during the Civil War. Her book is in its third printing and is still used in the school system as a Civil War reference. When my mom died, my daughters said that I “became” Grandma Betty. Every day I witness myself “wearing Betty,” and it makes me so proud. Here I am, 58 years old, trying to survive after difficulties with age discrimination, a big dose of pride that many times gets in my way, and a huge amount of humbling. But you know what – I am so proud when I look at my accomplishments – the two daughters that I created, their husbands, my grandchildren, my friends – everyone who knows me and loves me for who I am. Yes, I like ME! So, yes, you crazy streetwalker, go for it! “I’m walkin’ daddy, (Mama!) in the steps that you put down.” (Greg Brown).” All you have to do is ask and you shall receive. No restrictions required!
Peace out!
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04.16.11
Posted in Just Me at 2:14 PM by Ann Hornbeck
On the 18th, the moon is full. Did you know that every full moon has a unique name? According to space.com, “Sometimes the full moon of each month event has more than one name, all of which originated in antiquity.” Native American tribes living in the northern and eastern part of the U.S. started tracking seasons by names to keep track of the seasons. Tonight’s moon is named the Paschal Full Moon or the first full moon of the spring season. Also, Spica, the brightest star of Virgo, rises above the full Moon tonight and tracks the Moon across the sky. What we see as Spica is actually two massive stars that are separated by about 10 million miles — a fraction of the distance from Earth to the Sun. I love the night sky. (“Moonlight makes me dizzy, Sunshine makes me clean, Your light is the sweetest thing, this boy (girl!) has ever seen…”) Everyone, or should I say, some people are excited about the release of Atlas Shrugged, the movie. I have read the book, and I actually wrote a term paper on Ayn Rand and her objectivism philosophy. I enjoyed the story, and actually got an A+ on my paper, but, I must admit, I realized the premise of the story was not something this woman – me – agreed with. I believe in following your dreams, and most especially, striving for perfection, reward and accomplishment. But, as a bleeding heart liberal, I reject the premise of it’s mine, it’s all mine and I am not going to share it with anyone who isn’t as smart, recognized, successful and rich as I. I think the entire thing is absolutely ridiculous, but kind of fun to watch from the sidelines! But as my son-in-law always reminds me – there is no difference between the Democrats and Republicans. It is more of the same and if you want to truly cut taxes, overhaul healthcare and such, become a Libertarian! I ran 6.5 miles today as we near the end of the 10k running class and begin cutting back on our distance in preparation for the Loop the Lagoon race on April 30th. I have decided to sign up for the Trail Run series starting in July through September. I am looking forward to it, even knowing that it will be in the middle of summer. Such is life. Beautiful as always!
Peace.
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04.11.11
Posted in Just Me at 12:39 PM by Ann Hornbeck
No, I have not decided to stop drinking wine! But, I am definitely recovering from a full weekend! I did a 5k run early on Saturday morning, then headed to SF, but oops, Brent wasn’t there yet, so I headed to San Gregorio to hear some music. Next – dinner at 7:00 in SF, so northward I went again to have dinner with Brent and his boss who were in town for a few conferences. It was great to see an old friend! He is still the person that I sat with for endless hours on my front porch conversing about whatever things teenagers discuss. So, after dinner, I drove back down to La Honda to spend the night with my girlfriend. Of course, that included a trip to Apple Jacks, the infamous bar in La Honda, which is always a hoot! The next morning, it was all about a good breakfast and later in the day, Jane’s birthday party, outside in the beautiful spring day with “SaxyMan and The Ladds” playing of course! Loved seeing everyone and can’t wait for the next trip. I continue to watch the news from Japan – what a horrible series of events. How much more can they take? Nothing ever remains the same – sometimes for better, and sometimes for worse, but inevitable. It doesn’t seem like the U.S. economy is coming back very quickly. One day the news is great, the next its not – too much information! I read an article recently about how the Internet is not only changing our language, but also the ability to read a book. The younger generations want it NOW, so some publishers are creating condensed books of classics and otherwise. Geez. That one doesn’t sit very well with me. But, Leonardo DaVinci must be smiling down from heaven. A team of German engineers created a “graceful, flapping, un-feathery machine that looks and flies like a seagull.” The sad thing is, it will probably become a war machine – sigh. I think I’ll go back to the cave and stare at the shadows on the wall.
Peace!
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04.08.11
Posted in Politics at 2:08 PM by Ann Hornbeck
Yesterday, we had a major hail storm that came down like a torrential rain, ice bouncing around like ping pong balls as the thunder cracked and popped causing power outages and flickering lights, depending on where you lived. It was a cold day as the Sierra Mountains decided to share some of their joy, low temps and weird weather. It was an interesting couple of hours. This morning the temperature was only 35! Tomorrow, I will run a 5k in the cold, but I’m hoping this will be easy relative to the distances I’ve been running lately. Afterwards, I will get ready for my trip to the city to hook up with an old friend who is in town for a conference. I am so excited to get away for the weekend, and glad my daughters can take care of Kona the Cat while I’m away. That includes insulin shots, feedings, and cleaning out the cat box, so it is a lot to ask of someone! I have decided to get serious about finding work to supplement my current job. I love what I’m doing but I really need to work full-time, so back to job hunting I go. I truly love to work – and I have grown into myself in my old age (it’s about time!) and there are so many things I can do – especially when it comes to “plans” – business plans, marketing plans, development plans, test plans, plans, plans, plans. I suppose I should stop talking about it and get my business license so I can make some money off of my talents. I glanced at a piece about white collar workers taking over the vendor business, competing with the trucks that stop by businesses and factories to divvy out Mexican, American and Asian food, hot dogs, sandwiches, soups, hot food, cold food, candy bars, you name it. They have been doing this for years, but the economy has caused many to lose their livelihoods, and now, here come the white collar, unemployable, over-50 crowd to seize the day, buying up trucks and doling out some new menus. Interesting. Nothing is sacred, that’s for sure. But, this much I know is true, college grads will be the winners and so be it! (The pendulum swings…) Eventually, they too will be old so seize the day, as my brother Bill always likes to say. Well, actually, he always used the Latin version, but that too has slipped my mind. One last thing, today I read an NPR piece from Japan about the latest earthquake. One can only imagine how difficult these events are on everyone, but especially, the elders, and of course, the children. Here is a quote from a 64-year old woman who is not sure she can take much more: “It’s enough. Something has changed. The world feels strange now. Even the way the clouds move isn’t right.” Enough said.
Peace.
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04.05.11
Posted in Just Me at 9:53 PM by Ann Hornbeck
I am tired but happy after a 4.5 mile run at Lagoon Valley Park as the sun bid adieu to the western day and began it’s journey to the other “side” of the world. It was a great run in a beautiful place – the hills very green and lots of people walking, running and biking at the end of the day. Baby calves lined the fields, and the big bull ran quickly to protect his brood from impending danger as the line of runners passed by. As Amanda and I pulled away from the crowd, we heard the bullfrogs croaking mightily from the lagoon, and a little while later a pheasant adjusted his distance, flying just above the tall grass and into a more comfortable refuge. Not long after that, two ducks waddled their way out of the water to find the perfect place to bed down for the night. The last leg of our run was on the side road next to the freeway, but all I remember is seeing the trees ahead in the distance, my body accelerating even though it was not I who was in control as the sounds of silence took over and my body forged ahead. I felt like I could run forever, caught in a dream where I ran for an eternity in a few short moments in time. Amanda brought me back to earth by saying, “Ann, you’ve sped up – do you realize that you were running faster?” Funny how that happens, isn’t it! Some days are hard and some are easier, but this time was just right. What a great place to be surrounded by so much beauty. As I type this, I feel fulfilled, at peace, and content. How blessed this moment! My mind considers those who suffer and do not have the comforts that I feel at this moment, but I allow myself to enjoy them anyway. I am.
Sweet dreams!
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04.03.11
Posted in Politics at 7:04 PM by Ann Hornbeck
UPDATE: Here are before and after shots.
Note the swelling! Poor baby girl!
"I'm a happy girl!"
What a resilient little thing she is – NO FEAR! She takes after her grandma!
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Yesterday, after my 6-mile run, a shower, babysitting, and completing small tasks around the house, it was time for the family to head out for a birthday party. I opted out of the birthday party, so decided to go to the grocery store and get something for dinner. When I got home, I fixed myself some pasta with fruit on the side, and of course, poured myself a glass of wine, then cleaned up before settling into a nice state-of-mind with nothing to do but sip on another glass of wine and read. But, NO! The phone rings and there is Angie telling me to get to the emergency room as Olivia broke her arm at a birthday party, hosted at one of those places that have a warehouse full of bouncy houses. Yikes! So, off to the emergency room I went, arriving around 6 p.m. and leaving at 1:15 a.m. Poor baby is AOK today. She is still a bit woozy but milking it to the hilt. Jessica and Aaron assured ice cream for breakfast at 5 or 6 a.m. – ha! Precious little “Oli-girrrrrllll!” Today, we all visited with her. Angie and Robin and Ben and Anna smothered her with balloons, toys and ice cream! I promised gifts, but left for a two-hour hike, and a nice light lunch with a friend. When I stopped by afterwards, Olivia said “Why did you not bring me a present?!?” Wow – I guess I still believe it’s all about ME! But, her request is in, and it will be yet-another-Dora doll. So very funny! Right now, I am so exhausted that I can barely keep my eyes open. Angie is feeling the same. What a day! What a beautiful life!
Peace!
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