10.30.11

Torn

Posted in Just Me at 3:00 PM by Ann Hornbeck

Here I am again, listening to KFOG on another beautiful and sunny morning in Northern California. Ben and Anna are running through the house, and so happy to have their Papa and Mama home on a day of rest and relaxation. Speaking of running, I went to the doctor on Friday and after much assessment, I was told there is no damage to the meniscus nor major tendons. So, on Saturday, I was so happy to be out with the groups! I made it 2 1/2 miles (again) and then the pain started. I realized that part of the pain was due to the need to build up my strength in and around my knee. So, I did what I needed to do which was walk back the other 2 1/2 miles and give my knee a rest. The good thing is my left side did not react negatively this time, so I feel very, very happy to be on the up-and-up. Rest, ice, and compression should help with the healing.

I was disturbed to hear and read a 3-part series on NPR (“Native Foster Care: Lost Children, Shattered Families” by Laura Sullivan and Amy Walters) about the high numbers of Native American children who continue to be torn from their homes in numbers not seen since before the Indian Child Welfare Act was initiated. This act “says that except in the rarest of cases, Native American children who have to be removed from their homes must be placed with relatives, their tribes or other Native Americans. Yet 32 states are failing in some way to abide by the law, according to 2005 government audit.”

The numbers of children being sent away to foster homes in South Dakota and other states, continues to rise. But, so do the numbers of runaways from foster care and foster homes. Most children, regardless of their age, try to find their way back home. Sometimes that might be a 6-year-old child, other times, a young person who has reached an age of wisdom after many years of bad behaviors and now seeks comfort in the home he or she barely remembers. Torn from their homes, torn from their tribes, heartbroken and torn to pieces.

The amount of children running away has become such a phenomenon that many tribal leaders are allowing families to hide their children so they cannot be located. “Tribal officials say the only difference between running away and running home is whether or not you’re running in the direction you belong.” Who passes this type of legislation and who is getting rich in the process? It almost sounds like human trafficking. What a sad reality for the Native American Indian tribes, and what a sad reality for states to allow it.

I work in a nonprofit agency that provides programs and services to families with children who live at or below the poverty line, or are homeless, or addicted to drugs, or living in high-stressed and abusive relationships, or have lost all semblance of hope. Every day, the numbers of families searching for, or referred to, our services is mind-boggling. Waiting lists continue to expand, and social services continue to be cut. Where are the safety nets? Who is passing and allowing these ridiculous and abominable laws to continue? Who is paying attention?

During this holiday season, please donate what you can to your favorite nonprofit organization. If your federal, county or local government can’t help, there is always a nonprofit waiting to get you back on track.

Peace out!

 

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10.25.11

Bound

Posted in Just Me at 7:48 PM by Ann Hornbeck

In great tribute to Occupy Wall Street, I share these famous lyrics by CSN&Y:

Though your brother’s bound and gagged

And they’ve chained him to a chair

Won’t you please come to Chicago

Just to sing.

 

In a land that’s known as freedom

How can such a thing be fair

Won’t you please come to Chicago

For the help that we can bring

 

We can change the world

Re-arrange the world

It’s dying to get better.

 

Politicians sit yourself down

There’s nothing for you here

Won’t you please come to Chicago

For a ride.

 

Don’t ask Jack to help you

Cause he’ll turn the other ear

Won’t you please come to Chicago

Or else join the other side.

 

We can change the world

Re-arrange the world

It’s dying – if you believe in justice

It’s dying – and if you believe in freedom

It’s dying – let a man live his own life

It’s dying – rules and regulations, who needs them

Open up the door.

 

Somehow, people must be free

I hope the day comes soon

Won’t you please come to Chicago

Show your face.

 

From the bottom of the ocean

To the mountains on the moon

Won’t you please come to Chicago

No one else can take your place.

Today in Oakland, CA, around 90-plus protesters were jailed for protesting in the city streets. Many of you well remember the 60′s and 70′s when protests were common – there was a lot to contend with, and everywhere, people took to the streets, or into the underground, or to other countries where they could escape the draft, and many, back to the gardens to live the life we chose.

I grew up in an era of untrust, and it’s interesting how nothing has changed, yet everything has changed in today’s world. What must it have been like in the 1940′s when my mother was a teenager! She and her sister were coming of age after spending a decade or more experiencing the last days of the Great Depression. Times were hard, and money sparse with people coming to your door asking for food and clothing as they hopped trains from west to east, north to south, into Mexico and up to Canada, praying that they might find work, or a soft pillow to provide a semblance of comfort that doesn’t come from a bottle.  No such luck.  What has changed?

Technology rules the world. Corporations even more so. Nothing is private. You can’t believe anything you read or hear. The have’s think they’ve got a good deal going, but in reality, they too are just the cream-of-the-top of the have-not’s. The joke is on all of us.  The bus stops here.

It is a blessing that our stomachs are full, our clothing adequate, our pay sparse but enough to feed and clothe our children and ourselves.  Thrift shops reign, and big box companies flounder. Our only savior, our military strength and power – but that won’t last either – the toss of a dice and we are done.

I am here.  You are not.  I still miss you.  I hope you are doing well.

Won’t you please come to Chicago?

 

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10.23.11

True Colors

Posted in Just Me at 1:59 PM by Ann Hornbeck

How warm and rosy the music was again this morning as Seal sang a rendition of “Kiss from a Rose.” What a great artist he is, and what a great song for him to spin.

I still cannot run without feeling pain in my right knee. So again, I was thinking of a small hike on the mountain today to see if I felt any change. Should I risk re-injuring or give it a rest? If I make it without pain, I will be glowing, or as Coldplay says: “Look at the stars, Look how they shine for you, And everything you do, Yeah, they were all yellow, too.” But, I suppose I should wait until my appointment on Friday. Good thinking, Ann!

I am not good at sitting. Matter of fact, I don’t know how to sit still, except when I’m reading. The moment I open a book, the words seem to jump into my brain, the letters opening wide to all possibilities as the black ink creates feelings of happiness or sadness and everything in-between.

Yesterday, something got into the chicken coop and ate two freshly laid eggs. Not only that, whatever animal ate them, also tried to eat the wooden egg, leaving teeth marks all over it. Today, I went out to check on the hens and they were sitting patiently in the laying box. So, I waited for a while until I heard them running around in the yard. Then, back to the coop I went, and luckily, there they were, one brown and one light blue egg, still warm in my hands as I gently gathered them from the laying box and carried them into the house.

I was surprised yesterday when I commented to Angie that I was frustrated that I had nothing to do as my girlfriend had stood me up and another one was already obligated. Angie said, “What’s wrong with staying home and just doing nothing?” What did I expect coming from a woman who also loved Winnie-the-Poo! So, I decided to give it a try – there is always room for nothing.

I ran an errand, did some dusting, sat and read my book, took Ben to the park while Anna napped, all the while the golden sunshine calming my mind, creating a gentle mood of peace and comfort. Now, that wasn’t too hard, was it? ”Don’t underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can’t hear, and not bothering.” (Winnie-the-Pooh)

Do our moods change the colors of the world, or is our perspective electrified by our thoughts? I think I know the answer.

How awesome to see Pete Seeger, at 92 years old, and Arlo Guthrie and other well known and aware people participating in the Occupy Wall Street march in New York City.  I am sure the protesters felt so honored to walk with one who has changed the world one step at a time. And, going strong! His hair completely gray, his face beaming with love, his reality shining with peace in his heart. What color is love?  All the colors of the rainbow, and more!

And each of us has a piece of that rainbow illuminating our hearts.

I just had another conversation with my next door neighbor from my childhood in West Virginia. The time is now approaching for her and her husband to bring their 33-year old son home to die. He has lived the majority of his young life battling cancer. My heart aches for the pain and sadness the family continues to endure. When he dies, he will be surrounded by white light and at that time, he will know the greatest love story ever told. Many blessings to Suzzanne and Larry.

And, peace to all of you!

 

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10.19.11

Something from Nothing

Posted in Just Me at 7:53 PM by Ann Hornbeck

It is such a delight to feel a change in the air – cool temperatures breed calm minds! Our bodies naturally slow down as winter stares at us from a closer proximity than what we faced just a few weeks ago.  My, how time flies!  And yet, look how far we have come.

What a treat to hear from my friend, Joe! He is a friend from my youth and was the best friend of my cousin Brad. Oh my, the stories! And, oh my, the things I never knew and am probably glad for it! Joe called because of the tragedy that happened today in Zanesville, Ohio, where the owner of a wild animal preserve released the tigers and bears and mountain lions and other “wild” animals before taking his own life. It is a hard subject to understand as most of the animals were killed by the protectors who had to make hard choices in a very, very scary, and sad, sad, situation. That said, I must believe that there existed some semblance of remorse by those who wished to save their lives. I definitely believe that the officers were considering the consequences before them and did the best they could do. But, if it is true that over 35 calls were made and recorded between the police and the owner, then there should have been a process in place in case the animals escaped as they did today.

I am all about process. What?!? Oh yes, many of you who know me too well, also recognize that I am known to flitter about endlessly, especially when there is (a) music, (b) really good music, and (c) when there is an interesting conversation within hearing distance, and finally, (d) when there is really, really good music to dance to!

Back to the discussion…I find it interesting how events can change our minds on a variety of issues that we at one time thought were wrong, or even correct, and yet, in a moment, everything changes. (“A moment changes everything.” (David Gray).) What I like about changing my mind is I can. No one has control of my thoughts. And, no one knows what “something” is lurking in my mind, twisted or not, or if I will release it or write it off as having consumed too much wine, or exercising my ability to keep it between me and me. But seriously, although I mourn the loss of the animals, and of course, the owner who took his own life, I will assume all possibilities were examined within a short period of time with safety the main focus at all times.

Out of the blue we are full of happiness and the next moment, we are subjected to pain and suffering.

A moment of bliss turns to sadness.

A day of celebration ends in disaster.

Our idea, perfect, until our plans are ruined.

A moment of endless joy becomes the saddest day of your life.

Something from nothing.

Nothing.

Pure bliss.

Nothing to hold.

Nothing to consider.

Nothing.

Sweet nothing.

Peace out!

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10.16.11

Wade in the Water

Posted in Just Me at 9:21 AM by Ann Hornbeck

It is always a treat to awaken to KFOG’s Acoustic Sunrise – a “must hear” for me, but sometimes, I have to wait until Acoustic Sunset as time keeps slip, slip, slipping away! KFOG always seems to set the tone of the day ahead. I know I sure need it. I was shocked and bummed to not be able to run yesterday as my right knee gave me major problems, enough so that even my left hip could not work properly. I guess I need to let myself heal some more. And, even though I try not to visit the doctor’s office, I may need to give in. As a friend said, my temple (body) is screaming for a break, so give it a break! I might try a hike today to see if it is even possible. The Solano Turkey Trot is on Thanksgiving Day so time is running out!

I hope those of you who have joined the Occupy Wall Street protests are maintaining your positions and walking with peace and hope in your hearts. But, don’t set your hopes too high as corporations continue to rule the world and the breast pockets of our so-called leaders in government. I just read an article titled: “Why Occupy Wall Street?” by John Thorpe, a Benzinga Staff Reporter – it’s a good little piece.

The protests continue across the United States and the World. I remember protesting when I was in college.  I attended the organizing meetings at the student union and I remember everyone seemed to be paranoid about who was who.  Are you here as a “spy” or are you really on the bus?  It was hard to tell so I listened in for a few meetings, then decided to just march and try to enjoy the moment. It was a peaceful time until the protesters blocked the road in front of the Student Union. All traffic was at a standstill through the downtown, everyone yelling profanities at the crowd, some protesters throwing rocks at the ROTC building, the rest of us just singing our protest songs and listening to the speakers. Things went awry but eventually, we just started walking. I don’t know that we changed the world, but at least our voices were heard.  My only hope is there are no major altercations or loss of life. No guns!  I haven’t joined the gatherings in San Francisco, but I can only imagine that it will remain a peaceful demonstration. San Francisco is a young city that has a huge population of 20- and 30-somethings working in the city and in Silicon Valley, so I’m sure there is a lot of positive energy from many who hare hoping to change the world! “Something’s happening here….”

This is a great time to drive to the top of the biggest mountain you can find and get out your telescopes for viewing the supernova waiting for you just above the Big Dipper. According to the news, “This supernova is a Type 1a, meaning it formed from a thermonuclear explosion of a white dwarf star.” I bet my brother Bill has been sharing this event with his grandchildren and what a great big sky to enjoy!  So don’t delay, as this week is the last time to see it in full glory as it will begin to fade.  Anyone out there want to stargaze with me?

So, all of you who continue to march, stand your ground, and remember, anything is possible.

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10.12.11

Bridges

Posted in Just Me at 9:42 PM by Ann Hornbeck

Bridges.

Now, that is a word that brings forth many possibilities.

I can stare at you with my “pince  nez” glasses struggling to find balance on the bridge of my nose. I may have meant to stare at you with laughter in my eyes, but perhaps my smile turned to pensive thoughts as I frowned at the dirty lens that prohibited my ability to see you truly for who you are, at that moment or the next.

Of course, there is always a bridge to be crossed. My thoughts move to the river’s edge where I navigate my way across the sedimentary rocks that have lain dormant for over 300 million years. Every drop of water takes a piece of those rocks with it, especially in the winter months where the ice and snow seems to torment the river with its constant movement and flow beneath the surface.

But now, the bedrock shows its true colors of red and tan, the sun illuminating the depth and breadth of this ancient river. I watch the trees swaying back and forth. I think of nothing. I see everything. The deep blue sky perfectly aligns at the river’s edge where I step carefully, my feet bare and wet, my toes hanging on as I make my way north to the confluence just ahead.  I think of Brad. I think of my mother. I think of my roots and how they connect and protect me.  I think of you.

Bridges.

This is a photo of the New River Gorge in West Virginia.

This weekend is the 32nd Annual Bridge Day Festival in West Virginia. For those of you who know nothing about West Virginia, here is a piece of knowledge.

The New River Gorge is one of the world’s oldest places – that’s the truth. And, the festival is about BASE jumping “one of the world’s most cutting edge sports” that brings rafting enthusiasts, jumpers, rappelers, and thousands of onlookers to the “state’s biggest party of the year.”

According to their website, www.officialbridgeday.com, when you walk onto the bridge, “you will be standing over one of the oldest river gorges on Earth. Estimates suggest the New River Gorge is about 345 million years old.” I have always heard it is the oldest river next to the Nile River, but, I would have to do my homework on that fact.

Another interesting fact is that the gorge was formed by erosion as opposed to being formed by glaciers like other areas of the world.  ”The river itself is steep for its size. In the 85 miles of New River in West Virginia, the river drops a total of 850 feet on average. Most of that gradient is concentrated right here in the gorge. It’s the drop in elevation that makes for the New River’s outstanding whitewater.”

And, last but not least, “One very unique feature of the river is its course. The new river flows north (which is not in itself unusual) and bisects the entire Appalachian Mountain range, literally separating north from south.” Now that is a sight to see!

My cousin Brad, the adventurous soul that he was, did the “bathtub race” in the very early days before the New River Bridge area became so well known. His so-called “boat” sank and he was pulled from the water by a farmer who grabbed him from the icy water and threw him into a hot shower! Ding, ding, ding – WRONG!!! But, he survived. In later years, I’m pretty sure he also had his fun jumping off the bridge. All I know is I sure wish he was still “here.”

Ok!  So, here we are back to California. This weekend is the 25th anniversary of the Bridge School benefit concert at the Shoreline Amphitheatre in Mountain View, California. This is a great cause, and a great venue! This year brings Dave Matthews, Arcade Fire, Eddie Vedder – love him!, Tony Bennett and Diana Krall. This event is pretty cool and includes an entire acoustic night under the stars of SiliconValley.  I wanted to go, but I haven’t even tried to get tickets. The last time I was there, I got to hear and see Tracy Chapman perform which I thoroughly enjoyed.

Bridges.

They create images of couples embracing, acts of destruction, and even the sounds of horses galloping, their riders strong and determined, staying the course through thick and thin. Bridges are connecting, bringing hope for a better tomorrow. But this much I know is absolutely true, – no matter what bridge you cross, you will always reach your destination.

Peace out!

 

 

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10.10.11

Occupy Wall Street!

Posted in Just Me at 3:58 PM by Ann Hornbeck

‘Twas the night before Occupy Wall Street, and all through the camps

the protesters gathered, triple-checking their lamps.

A long night ahead, conversation in the air,

tensions mounting, so much to bear.

 

Many bedded down, some managing their fears,

as others remember the past 400 years.

The sun starting to rise, morning has broken,

Time to get marching, time to awaken!

 

All of a sudden, blue suits everywhere,

Batons and rifles, stony faces – beware!

Lock your hands together, and stand proud and true,

Don’t forget what you came here to do!

 

Now Julie! now Fred! now Amy and Will!

On, Steven! On, Crissy! on, on Jamie and Phil!

To the top of the steps! to the top of the wall!

This is about justice, and fairness for all!

 

Politicians whose pockets are full of money,

kickbacks, greed and everything phony,

hiding behind their lies and deceit.

It’s our turn now – Occupy Wall Street!

 

Our votes will speak, your time is due.

No one trusts them  or believes what they do.

No one to help them,  no where to go.

But wait, there’s always Mexico!

(Good luck with that!)

 

The word is spreading; more cities join the cause,

from the east to the west, no hesitation or pause.

The 99-percenters, Sharpton, Ben & Jerry’s roar -

“Justice impartially, for the rich AND poor.”

 

San Francisco, Iowa, and Madison,

South Bend, Oakland and even Aspen!

Gather together; light the torches,

Walk together; leave your porches!

 

From the North and the South,

to the West and the East,

God bless our freedoms

and God give us peace!

 

- Ann Hornbeck

(Loosely (!) based on the classic “Twas the Night Before Christmas” by Clement Clarke Moore (1779 – 1863)

 

Here are the most recent demands from Occupy Wall Street:

- Repeal the Bush tax cuts and prosecute “Wall Street criminals.”

- Investigate Wall Street and Hold Senior Executives Accountable for the Destruction in Wealth that has Devastated Millions of People.

- Return the Power of Coining Money to the U.S. Treasury and Return to Sound Money

- Limit the Size, Scope and Power of Banks so that None are Ever Again “Too Big to Fail” and in Need to Taxpayer Bailouts

- Eliminate “Personhood” Legal Status for Corporations

- Repeal the Patriot Act, End the War on Drugs and Protect Civil Liberties

- End All Imperial Wars of Aggression, Bring the Troops Home from All Countries, Cut the Military Budget and Limit The Military Role to Protection of the Homeland

Your votes are very much needed.

Peace out!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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10.05.11

Free-birds

Posted in Just Me at 8:05 PM by Ann Hornbeck

Well, it is a sad day for Apple lovers across the world, and I’m one of them! God bless you Steve for staying true to yourself, and true to your followers, even through the ups and downs and especially, as you fought the battle of your life. “Don’t think twice, it’s alright.” God has even better plans for you, my friend.

My first job in software was at MicroPro in 1983. At that time in history, we had few competitors, one of them being Microsoft, but we were free and known all over the free world. We were invincible, inhaling every new program or code that we could get our hands on. By 1984, MicroPro was the world’s largest software company with 23% of the word processor market (according to Wikipedia). One of the most popular products coming out of that time was WordStar, the original word processing application, and MailMerge, which is still used extensively, believe it or not. At that time in history, there were few competitors, and we were on top of the world.

I worked in Software QA so I got to test not only the applications, but the drivers and installations as well. The testing process included putting an 8″ disk into the external drive, and making sure the program appeared and that all functions of the application worked as expected. The interesting part of the testing process was that we tested directly on a multitude of computers and operating systems, Apple machines being one of many. I learned to love Apple, except for the Lisa! I think they finally dumped that one not long after it was launched. Eventually, that 8″ disc became a 5 1/4 disc, and eventually, the technology did what it was supposed to do – CHANGE! And oh how it changed!

Those were the days. We were free-birds who worked hard and played equally hard. Every Wednesday night, the engineering team would go to the Irish Pub in downtown San Rafael where we would eat bangers, chasing them with numerous mugs of beer – especially stout – and playing darts as we laughed and danced and drank some more.  Ah, the days of the young and foolish! Some of you might remember the story of John who came from Ireland where he worked at his brother’s pub in between creating C code for WordStar.  John could stand on his head and down a Guinness, the beer running out of his nostrils as he remained determined to finish that glass come hell or high water. The camaraderie was amazing.

Finally, by 1988, the writing was on the wall – every wall in the complex! Due to my “outgoing personality,” I was the one that walked people outside as one by one, many in the company got the axe. “I gotta get out of this place!” I applied to Autodesk and got the job right away. So, there I went to another awesome adventure that may be told some other time.

So again, God bless you Steve.  You definitely left your mark upon the world. An indelible mark that touched many lives and made life a lot more fun.  Please come back and do it again.  And, tell my mom I said hello.  She’ll love the stories!

 

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10.01.11

Enough!

Posted in Just Me at 8:47 PM by Ann Hornbeck

I became aware today.  (2001 A Space Odyssey, (I think!)).

Everywhere we turn there are stories of wars, drugs, death, destruction, money, affairs, murders, rapes, brutality – you name it.

Enough is enough!

“What’s going on? Don’t punish me with brutality…”

“War, huh, good god, what is it good for, absolutely nothing, listen to me now…”

“He went to fight wars, for his country and his king, of his honor and his glory, the people would sing. Oh, what a lucky man, he was.”

“And it’s 1, 2, 3, what are we fighting for, don’t ask me I don’t give a damn, next stop is Vietnam.”

My friend Brent recently told me to stop reading anything online and just start reading Mother Earth News. It focuses on things that truly matter and keeps one sane and closer to our mother. I remember going to a store in Marin County in the early 1980′s with my girlfriend and she would always have that magazine under her arm.  I forget the name of the store but it is still there.  I suppose it is no different from me keeping “Our Mothers, Ourselves” and “The Tassajara Bread Book” by my side in the 1970′s when I lived on Cape Cod. It was an interesting time. (How quickly we forget our struggles!)

It was 1972, and all of the Vietnam War veterans were returning home. Many were addicts or suffering from the effects of war. It was no “Shangri-La.” On the Cape, even the death of John F. Kennedy seemed as close as yesterday. But, it was also a hopeful time that opened up a “new” way of living for the 20- and 30-somethings.

All of us had gardens, and bartering was commonplace among friends and neighbors. Most of our food came from the sea – a sea that included the bounties from the lush and pure Grand Banks of Nova Scotia, the North Seas, and other northern ports. In the summer, we would walk to the shore to find quahogs just below the sand, or blue crabs who scurried in and out of their holes in the banks next to the cranberry bogs. We hosted or attended clambakes in the summer. Our clambake was a relatively large affair hosted by three families who lived on shared property. It took many people, many hours to dig the giant hole, gather wood to start the fire, and drive to the sea to gather seaweed. The men-folk guarded the fire through the night, passing bottles back and forth, yet, wide-awake as morning broke. The women folk lined up early to check in on the men and to prep the corn, potatoes, and onions, as well as the various fish and seafood that was gently wrapped in cheese cloth and ready for a long day of steaming. I remember attending weddings on the beach where the bride and groom wore flowing white linens and everyone went barefoot, the harbor comforting and only steps away from their home. In the winter, there were ice hockey games and snow galore, yet friends always found their way to our house, or us, to theirs. In spring, we were fortunate to be alive after a ride through the icy outlets on a barge that easily found its way to the sea. Fall – time to chop wood and celebrate the end of the growing season.  Yes, a good time.

My awareness sustains me. My memories are comforting and yet, sometimes, they bring a dose of sentimentality or sadness, but always they bring forth truth. I have walked through darkness. I have followed the light. And, I trust the guidance that comes forth. It is a safe haven and one that I have turned to many times in my life. It is there for all of us to enter and no one can take it away. It is invisible, yet easily found.

Wars and all things dreadful will always exist. But, we have complete control on how much of ourselves we will give to each of those realities. And that is true with everything. That is the power of many. And that’s a lot!

So, I will hear and listen to the stories, but I will not always participate, because enough will always be just right!

Peace out!

 

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